Thursday, April 8, 2010

Pre-Exam Combat

The pre-exam jitters are already marching throughout my body in their attempt at creating an impenetrable battalion of nerves and angst. My stomach serves as the base-camp where the jitters have strategically forced the defending troops into retreat. It seems inevitable that my defense is down, that my own body can't even suppress the combative parts of my world. My brain is being poked, prodded and shocked from all angles - the amount of information that it is required to retain is extensive. At the end of a long day it feels as though there is a platoon of terrorists alongside the jitters - strapping my brain into a homemade bomb.

It is just like me to sacrifice all I can for another, to save them from a burning building, a hostage situation, or trench warfare - to suppress my own feelings and openly commit to the needs of others. Maybe that is where my so-called defense lies. My selflessness is to blame; Or perhaps it is the blood of a true Canadian that runs through my veins that influences peace and prosperity in my little soldiers. I am strong, I am proud and I am true - but we cannot let the jitters overcome us!

We will do what it takes! so, launch hot maple syrup bombs, coat your sore bodies with RUB A535, soak their combat suits with itching powder, bite, scratch, pull hair, spike their morning Timmies with laxatives; smoke bombs, chlorine-gas and rabid squirrels are a must.

Prepare for warfare my brave little soldiers, prepare to fight back. Prepare for bloodshed and pain. Raise those flags high and gear yourselves up for this monumental moment of defense; and remember: show no mercy!

Colleen Wilkinson


  1. god, try and use more big words, why don't you?

  2. I used some big words to show my brain's overall capacity and intelligence but slowly began to leave them out to show what the affects of the "attack" are.
    Does that make sense?